Secret Prayer

I am laying here tonight, my body drenched in fear. I push my judging thoughts aside, my eyes fill with tears.

For tomorrow, I pay a visit, to my brothers grave. Why did God take his life, how come he couldn’t stay?

I hear my cursing words come out, I feel my anger rise. I do not understand why people drink and drive.

I am going the cemetery where part of his ashes lay. I am going there to tell him Karen had his boy today.

As I tell him these things, I will break down into tears. I will say the things I should have said while he was here.

I will tell him that I love him, and thank him for loving me. I will tell him in my heart is where he’ll always be.

Then I will say God, please help me to love and forgive that man who killed my brother the night he should have lived.

And please put a burden on his heart, to never again drink and drive. To make him think of all of us, that didn’t get to say good-bye.

And help him be a stronger man, get his life right. Help him understand that your most precious gift is life.

And just before I fell asleep, I heard someone say, no need to worry, I am always with you. It will be ok.

When I awoke the next morning, I awoke with a smile. Thinking things over, was worth my worth while.

That hatred I had in my heart, no longer lingered there, I take it as if the lord had answered my secret prayer.

© Tasha Geller-Hollingshead, http://www.billiejean.live, July 9th, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tasha Geller-Hollingshead and http://www.billiejean.live  with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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Billie Jean

I am a 35 year old hard of hearing woman. I have grown up Deaf most of my life. I had a very difficult time understanding people when they would talk. Body language however, I very much learned at a young age. I had to work my whole life with different teachers that were devoted to helping me learn speech. They could never teach me to talk lower, that was the one thing I could not get perfect. I can wear hearing aids now, after too many surgeries to count were unsuccessful. I love life and I love hearing things. I like watching people and I just love being around people. I am a woman that has been struggling to find myself for years now. My story will dictate what I am going through and will be told in stories. Theres a lot to know about me, seeing as I am bi-polar. Plus I have been a writer all my life. It was my only outlet. I was often told to sit down and be quiet. Time to put it to use, and share my life, and my emotions with you all.