Quick sand

When I think back to growing up, I was at all times, silently encouraged to give up on anything before I even got started.

Manipulated really and I was held back purposely from reaching my potential out of pure jealousy and hatred.

So look at me, I’m curious sir. Tell me how your different when I’ve been here before. It’s not hard to read between the lines.

Crossed over and back, running is my weapon. I always get away. I never choose to stay, but for the first time, I was pushed away.

For you, why should I give up how far I’ve come? Jeopardize my career, put the stakes in the ground and steer to your isolated island?

You’re asking me to bury my head in the sand. Walk away from it all literally forcing my hand and show just who’s in charge… the man.

You caught me off my game, caught me off guard when I looked upon your face. With my scope in clear distance?

I never shoot and miss, but first I had to exist. I felt I had to make you notice me in such a desirable way…you lured me to stay.

When you’re not here folded in my arms, Im drowning in waters that I could never wade. A light once bright, can you feel the fade?

Did you see me coming from so many miles away? Im ready to start running, wanna come with me? Without your mastery delays.

I can’t catch my breathe, but can live a life without you by my side. You showed me a love that I wanted to feel, why turn it away from me, why lie?

How do I get you to understand all that I’m trying to say? Do you want me to beg, get down on my knees? That will never be. I’m not someone you can pay to have your way.

This path chosen for me, the final call, the decision has been chosen already. Conditioned state of mind choosing for me, why do I stall?

Tell me the risks, and that I’m not worth the fall. Insult me some more please, a bore. Catch me in your arms, was all but a painting on the wall. My heart is sore.

….I was at all times, silently encouraged to give up on anything before it started.

Tell me is this it, is this all? Give up Billie, stop with the stalls. The love you have is voided… barricaded in you put up the wall. That all which you had, is all, your last call.

-Billie

June 26th 2019

COPYRIGHT NOTICE © TASHA GELLER-HOLLINGSHEAD, WWW.BILLIEJEAN.LIVE, JUNE 26, 2019. UNAUTHORIZED USE AND/OR DUPLICATION OF THIS MATERIAL WITHOUT EXPRESS AND WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THIS SITE’S AUTHOR AND/OR OWNER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. EXCERPTS AND LINKS MAY BE USED, PROVIDED THAT FULL AND CLEAR CREDIT IS GIVEN TO TASHA GELLER-HOLLINGSHEAD AND WWW.BILLIEJEAN.LIVE WITH APPROPRIATE AND SPECIFIC DIRECTION TO THE ORIGINAL CONTENT.

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Billie Jean

37 year old single mother of two boys. Looking for love in all the wrong places, and writing out what I see in the world around me through stories and fairytales.

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