Bittersweet

Hello everyone. Sorry it’s been a while since I have touched base. I have been going through a lot with life. I recently moved from Shawnee to Oklahoma City.  I am in my own place with my two boys now. We are making it. It’s really working out for us. I have been writing a lot in my journal and I thought I would share some over the next few weeks. My diary entries as I like to call them. This one is from April 12th, 2017. We shall call it The End of a Beautiful Disaster.

 

I lay here in on this long couch, my legs stretched out, my toes covered with furry socks. I am just thinking out loud and asking myself questions, reasonable questions on whether or not I should up and leave this town, these people, this crowd, this life, this wife. SO here I am. Writing. I always write when I am sad, I also know that the paper and pen won’t judge me, it will be our secret. I can share, explore, and depend on these thin sheets of mine. Love has not bid me well in my life time. It has always at some point let me down, and has just done it again. But is it love that is the problem? Or is it the idea of love? Why do you stay for someone? What is the reward for sticking it out until the end?Especially if its not going to be much of anything but constant fighting and issues. Does anyone ever really truly understand what love is? I would like to scour the earth and look to those much wiser than us, whoever those people might be. I would like to rediscover everyone I know. I have missed so many people in the last couple years. I have been blind to this life, the only life I’ve known for the last 3 years. It has been my world. My everything. But everything is changing, and I have to be the one to make the first move, or I will never get out of here. A big life hop, skip, and a jump is seriously about to happen.

Tasha Geller

© Tasha Geller, http://www.billiejean.livehttp://www.billiejeandotlive.wordpress.com, June 12th, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tasha Geller and http://www.billiejean.livehttp://www.billiejeandotlive.wordpress.com  with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.